If the title sounds familiar, that’s probably because it’s parody from Marie Kondo’s “The life changing magic of tidying up“. But rather than teaching you about minimizing your home, this book teaches you all about de-cluttering your social skills. By not caring, worrying and being guided what other people think, especially when you simply say “no”. I’ve read this book and was pretty baffled that even before I finished it, it became a handy reminder in various situations. Read all about it in this the life-changing magic of not giving a f*ck book review.
This book has been mentioned in various popular women’s publications, including Elle, Vogue, Women’s Health and Cosmopolitan (besides the more obvious titles like The New York Times and The Sunday Times). Somehow us women perform exceedingly well in giving too many f*cks. About our hair, about our nails, about whether a dress makes our asses look fat…
Of course I’m pulling your leg: Naturally us women care a lot about serious emotional matters as well. Is it because of our famed empathy, or a supposedly increased EQ? I’m not sure. All I know is that somehow, although the title is catchy, the meaning didn’t really appeal to me. Because I felt I didn’t really give that many f*cks in the first place.
Boy was I wrong.
I was convinced that my down-to-earth and somewhat tomboyish mindset would generally spare me from a lot of hindrance. I’ve never been sensitive to peer pressure, and I thought I didn’t have trouble saying no. I realize that every minute you spend on something you absolutely hate, is a minute wasted away. I’m not talking about doing a massive pile of dishes or following up on some other unpleasant obligation: I mean spending time with people who continuously manage to drain you from your from your happiness, saying yes to an appointment while your schedule is simply too busy to make it work, and pointing out your personal boundaries.
In my personal plea for independence and knowing what’s good for me, I forgot all about how I’m a pretty emotional person. Sure, I’m able to say “no” where others struggle, but it rarely brings me joy. In fact, it often simmers in the back of my mind for hours on end, making me wonder if I wasn’t rude by saying no. In certain cases it even goes as far as having second doubts about my (well-thought out) decision, or in extreme cases, wondering if the person I declined will still like me.
Yeah, by now I realize I could certainly benefit from giving a few less f*cks.
The life-changing magic of not giving a f*ck helps you review this precarious balance of caring and letting things go. Airing out the barn that is your mind, aiming to minimize your annoy, and to maximize your joy. And what appealed most to me: Budgeting the amount of f*cks you want to give, and spending them wisely. I feel I personally need to add to keep in mind that you do have to take other people’s feelings into account to a realistic extend, as the book in it’s enthusiasm seems to skip that notion more than once. You don’t have to be a d*ck – but like a passenger on a crashing airplane, you can help more people if you first put on your own oxygen-mask.
It’s been a while since I read this book, but as I’m reading it again, I realize this is one of those valuable peaces on the shelf that can function as the perfect safetynet. Because let’s be honest; Sarah Knight’s “NotSorry” method takes a while to stick – at least, it does with me. So I can definitely recommend this book for an eye-opening (and humorous) read, only to adorn your bookcase afterward as a friendly reminder to give a few less f*cks whenever you catch yourself worrying over the wrong things again.
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